I Like Monkeys

Todays post is a bit of a diversion from the Hands on With Microsoft Dynamics GP 2016 R1 series of posts I am currently working through. I was away on site last week and didn’t get a chance to write many posts and am now trying to catch up.

So something a little funny (I hope) to distract you while I get the next posts written:

The pet store was selling them for 50ยข a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn’t adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta’ dropped dead. Kinda’ like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn’t know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn’t work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn’t want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn’t all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn’t improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn’t allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn’t take that one either. I didn’t bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn’t know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.

Majority Of Missing Posts Restored

Site NewsFollowing my moment of recklessness the other night, I have been able to find a much more recent backup file which has now been restored. All posts up to the start of May are back, and I have kept the ones I entered in May.

I will still be working to restore the missing posts I have entered in May; at this point I am down only six posts which I will try to get back. The SQL Installation ones I may need to rewrite, but I still have the screenshots so that shouldn’t be too difficult.

One Moment Of Sheer Recklessness

Site NewsOne moment of sheer recklessness tonight saw me accidentally delete the database for this site.

To further compound the error, the most recent backup I can find is from the end of December (December 21 to be exact).

I have restored this database and will be adding back in the missing posts which were syndicated to the Dynamics GP Community and also the Perfect Image Dynamics GP site.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to recover the comments, pings or trackbacks which were received after the 21st December 2014. I will also go through all of the pages looking for missing changes I have made elsewhere.

Off the top of my head the only items I remember changing was the links page where I will have added Beat Bucher and Mahmoud al Saudis blogs to the MVP section; if you do see anything which looks wrong or has missing content, please use the Contact Us form to let me know.

Finally, please learn from my error and make regular backups of your site; and also keep a track of those backups so you know where they are and can access them quickly.

azurecurve Twitter Archive Created

Apparently Twitter only allows you to download the last 3,200 posts you have made. While I am substantially short of this number at present, I thought it might be useful to keep an archive of these posts myself so I always had access to them.

The CMS I am most used to these days is WordPress and I recently came across a plugin and theme from Ozh which allows you to make an archive of your Twitter which looks like the new Twitter. This azurecurve Twitter Archive is now available; it has been themed to look very like my Twitter page but has all the functionality of WordPress.