I Like Monkeys

● Ian Grieve ●  ● 2 Comments  ● 

Todays post is a bit of a diversion from the Hands on With Microsoft Dynamics GP 2016 R1 series of posts I am currently working through. I was away on site last week and didn’t get a chance to write many posts and am now trying to catch up.

So something a little funny (I hope) to distract you while I get the next posts written:

The pet store was selling them for 50¢ a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn’t adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta’ dropped dead. Kinda’ like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn’t know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn’t work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn’t want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn’t all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn’t improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn’t allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn’t take that one either. I didn’t bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn’t know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.

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Happy New Year

● Ian Grieve ●  ● 0 Comments  ● 

Happy New Year to everyone in the Dynamics GP community.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Merry Christmas

● Ian Grieve ●  ● 0 Comments  ● 

Merry Christmas to everyone in the Dynamics GP community.

Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Shortlinks Now Available

● Ian Grieve ●  ● 0 Comments  ● 

azurecurveEvery post and page here on azurecurve now has a shortlink available; for example, this post has a shortlink of http://azrcrv.co.uk/W5pNxq.

You can find the shortlinks at the bottom of the post or page to the right of the Permalink.

The shortlinks are available through a plugin I am about to release and am using azurecurve as the final test; if you do see any oddities with the shortlinks, please let me know.

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New Detailed RSS Feed

● Ian Grieve ●  ● 1 Comment  ● 

azurecurve Over four years ago, David Musgrave asked for a detailed RSS feed and I hacked one into WordPress (I was using the standard functionality for the summary RSS feed and it is one or the other).

It has taken me a while, but I have now created a proper detailed RSS feed by creating a plugin to provide this alternative feed (I will be releasing the plugin soon).

If you are using the current feed-full RSS feed, please change to using the new detailed RSS feed: http://www.azurecurve.co.uk/feed/detail

The current one will be available for a few more weeks, but I will then be retiring it.

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Majority Of Missing Posts Restored

● Ian Grieve ●  ● 3 Comments  ● 

Site NewsFollowing my moment of recklessness the other night, I have been able to find a much more recent backup file which has now been restored. All posts up to the start of May are back, and I have kept the ones I entered in May.

I will still be working to restore the missing posts I have entered in May; at this point I am down only six posts which I will try to get back. The SQL Installation ones I may need to rewrite, but I still have the screenshots so that shouldn’t be too difficult.

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One Moment Of Sheer Recklessness

● Ian Grieve ●  ● 1 Comment  ● 

Site NewsOne moment of sheer recklessness tonight saw me accidentally delete the database for this site.

To further compound the error, the most recent backup I can find is from the end of December (December 21 to be exact).

I have restored this database and will be adding back in the missing posts which were syndicated to the Dynamics GP Community and also the Perfect Image Dynamics GP site.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to recover the comments, pings or trackbacks which were received after the 21st December 2014. I will also go through all of the pages looking for missing changes I have made elsewhere.

Off the top of my head the only items I remember changing was the links page where I will have added Beat Bucher and Mahmoud al Saudis blogs to the MVP section; if you do see anything which looks wrong or has missing content, please use the Contact Us form to let me know.

Finally, please learn from my error and make regular backups of your site; and also keep a track of those backups so you know where they are and can access them quickly.

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Happy New Year!

● Ian Grieve ●  ● 0 Comments  ● 
Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to everyone in the Dynamics GP Community!

Image: noppasinw / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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Merry Christmas

● Ian Grieve ●  ● 0 Comments  ● 

Merry Christmas to everyone in the Dynamics GP community.

Image courtesy of Simon Howden at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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azurecurve Included in Dynamics101 Top 25 Dynamics GP Blogs

● Ian Grieve ●  ● 1 Comment  ● 

Microsoft Dynamics GPThe recently launched Dynamics 101 training site has announced their first annual list of Top 25 Dynamics GP Sites.

The list includes the usual suspects of Victoria Yudin, Leslie Vail, Mark Polino, Mariano Gomez, David Musgrave and more.

Click the image below to see the rest of the list:

Top 25 Dynamics GP Blogs

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